Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
this is just how I'm feeling right now....not worth thinking too into it.....cause you probably won't understand what I'm getting at...although it does make sence in my messed up mind. I am not saying hubby and I are fighting or anything but we are not where we need to be......don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart and that is not going to change just not a happily ever after.......
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Come what may
This song best describes how I feel about my husband. We have had some really rough years that has really changed us as people and as a couple. I would like to think that it has made us stronger.
I do know that I love him with my whole heart and it is really killing me that he is having such a rough time lately...he is at a crossroads and doesn't know which way to go. I will support him no matter what he chooses but I don't believe he is so sure that I will. I want him to believe in himself again and enjoy life again. I don't want him to be misserable anymore. I love my Husband so much!!!!!!!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
TalyerRae I miss you!
Tomorrow is Tayler Rae's Birthday only its not anymore. She will forever be a 10 year old little girl.
The last time I heard her beautiful voice was November 21, 2007. 3 years ago yet the pain is still there. The small lifeless child in the hospital bed still hunts me. The pain and cries from a mother that was told her baby was not going to recover from the accident is the worst sound ever to hear and to know that you can do nothing to comfort your sister, to comfort yourself is so horrible, I do not have the words to describe the helplessness I felt.
I do get to take comfort in knowing that the last words I said to her were "I love you sweetie!" But it doesn't feel like it is enough........
I want to hug my niece! I want my sister to stop being sad. I want to see my Tayler Rae again! I want her to be turning 13 tomorrow!
I hug my girls a little tighter everyday out of my own fear of having to go through what my sister is going through.
this is Tayler Rae with my daughter Lillian -Easter 2007
The last time I heard her beautiful voice was November 21, 2007. 3 years ago yet the pain is still there. The small lifeless child in the hospital bed still hunts me. The pain and cries from a mother that was told her baby was not going to recover from the accident is the worst sound ever to hear and to know that you can do nothing to comfort your sister, to comfort yourself is so horrible, I do not have the words to describe the helplessness I felt.
I do get to take comfort in knowing that the last words I said to her were "I love you sweetie!" But it doesn't feel like it is enough........
I want to hug my niece! I want my sister to stop being sad. I want to see my Tayler Rae again! I want her to be turning 13 tomorrow!
I hug my girls a little tighter everyday out of my own fear of having to go through what my sister is going through.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Mi Mancherai - Josh Groban
I'm not feeling like myself lately...not that I really know what that is any more.
Who is me? Do you know 'cause I don't really.
I am trying to figure it out, but it seems life gets in the way.....
Hard to think about me when there is laundry, dishes, kids need to be fed, toys to pick up, dogs to feed and let out.....etc etc. Haven't been feeling good.....not sure if I'm run down and need a break or there is something more serious going on with me.....
Love this song....it is very beautiful.......
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
funny hippo dance remix
so I ended up doing 75 Ab crunches yesterday so it wasn't too bad of a start to my healthy living.
I didn't fully think this through though... What was I thinking starting to be healthier the day after halloween....the candy is calling my name..... My plan for today is to do the Belly dance DVD after lunch during nap time. :)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Day 1 of the "newer me"
weighted myself today. I am 15 pounds more then I should be....no wonder the muffin top has seemed bigger lately. My sugars have also been harder to keep in control. I am boarder-line diabetic meaning my sugars are okay if I keep an eye on my diet, but don't need pills or insulin shots. I have been having sugar highs more often lately which scares the crap out of me. I can deal with sugar lows 'cause I just need to eat or drink something and I'm okay again but the highs I get dizzy and have passed out more then once. I don't want that to happen if I am driving or something. I need to be alert and able to care for my little girls. I am thinking if I loose the extra weight and pay more attention to my diet again I will be able to get the highs and lows under control again.
Time to take control of my life again!!!!!
It is Nov. 1, 2010 so today is Day One.
I have got Hubby to find my "Ab master" I have already done 30 ab crunches and plan on doing another 20 before going to bed.
my plan for tomorrow is to do my Belly Dance DVD in the morning. I want to do the ab master every second day for now and do 50 crunches and do the DVD on the other days. I'm not sure if I will keep it up on the weekends but this is the plan for now. Want to make small goals so I am able to succeed and not give up too soon......this is my goal for the next 2 weeks.....I will then re-evaluate what changes need to be made.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
my golf balls
I have been thinking a lot about the Mayonnaise Jar story. I have been trying to focus more on the "golf balls" more and not so much on the sand but it seems the sand keeps getting in my way. At times it even seems more important then all the pebbles. My "Golf Balls" or most important things in life are, My children- they mean more then anything else in my life, my husband, my family which includes my BFF and my faith, God. The pebbles are my pets, my friends, continuing my education, hobbies, (scrap booking, photography, etc.) The sand is the bills, housework, laundry, etc. All the crappy stuff of life but still needs to be done. I am leaving out all sorts of stuff in my life but these seem to be the focal points in my life right now. My children mean so much to me, I am so blessed to have them as my daughter. I do not know the words to describe how much I love them. They are my world!!!!!!!!! I get out of bed just for them I live my life for them. They are my "golf balls" of my mayonnaise jar!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Mayonnaise Jar
wonderful message!!!! I don't know who wrote this but really love the message......
The Mayonnaise Jar
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and started to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car..
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and started to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car..
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Canadian Idiot
I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!!
I AM PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!!!!!!!
Don't like it? I don't care!!!!
I don't really like Hockey, hate Beer, hate Curling and oddly not really a big fan of Timmies but a donut is a donut.
I like that our money is coloured, its easier to find the right bill however I don't like all the change.
Canada is wonderful and I have no desire to live in any other country.
I love it here!!!!!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
missing music?
Headphone Junky by Funkafeelya
Been thinking about the past this evening. Mostly thinking about the shows Hubby and I used to go to....loved listening and watching local talent. Funkafeelya, Knee Deep and Grass, McGowen Family Band and many others..... We saw K'naan and Corb Lund Band before, when they were still nobodies now we can't really afford to go to their concerts, go figure.....interesting how life works out.....
We still go to McGowen Family Band shows when we can but its just not the same, we are not the same, we are no longer the couple that can stay up all night to party with the band. We want to go home to our children, don't want to get wasted, don't smoke up etc.
Does that mean we are old or just that we have moved on? We are "responsible" now or something like that. It's not like we ever were "Pot-Heads" but still we aren't really in to being around it anymore either. I miss that scene yet I like my life now too.....
I miss the past, am enjoying the present (for the most part) and am looking forward to the future......
Been thinking about the past this evening. Mostly thinking about the shows Hubby and I used to go to....loved listening and watching local talent. Funkafeelya, Knee Deep and Grass, McGowen Family Band and many others..... We saw K'naan and Corb Lund Band before, when they were still nobodies now we can't really afford to go to their concerts, go figure.....interesting how life works out.....
We still go to McGowen Family Band shows when we can but its just not the same, we are not the same, we are no longer the couple that can stay up all night to party with the band. We want to go home to our children, don't want to get wasted, don't smoke up etc.
Does that mean we are old or just that we have moved on? We are "responsible" now or something like that. It's not like we ever were "Pot-Heads" but still we aren't really in to being around it anymore either. I miss that scene yet I like my life now too.....
I miss the past, am enjoying the present (for the most part) and am looking forward to the future......
Friday, October 22, 2010
Anything But Ordinary
Anything But Ordinary Lyrics
Artist(Band):Avril Lavigne
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turbulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Artist(Band):Avril Lavigne
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turbulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Why now?
I am officially 29 years old....and I think I am okay with that. At least I think I am....I don't feel old yet I also don't feel young. I just feel okay with being me. Does that make sense?
So I started this blog 'cause I spend far too much time on Facebook, mostly just updating my status.....I have lots to say and no one to listen......I don't know if anyone is or will be interested in my random rants and thoughts but at least this now gives me an outlet.
I am a stay at home mom to wonderful little girls that give me great joy and at the same time manage to cause me to want to pull my hair out......I also have a not so wonderful husband that I love with all my heart. He mostly just drives me crazy but I'm pretty sure I want to keep him. I am not really feeling very creative at the moment.....but give me time....I'm sure I'll have stuff to babble about shortly........
So I started this blog 'cause I spend far too much time on Facebook, mostly just updating my status.....I have lots to say and no one to listen......I don't know if anyone is or will be interested in my random rants and thoughts but at least this now gives me an outlet.
I am a stay at home mom to wonderful little girls that give me great joy and at the same time manage to cause me to want to pull my hair out......I also have a not so wonderful husband that I love with all my heart. He mostly just drives me crazy but I'm pretty sure I want to keep him. I am not really feeling very creative at the moment.....but give me time....I'm sure I'll have stuff to babble about shortly........
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